Reasons behond my control - really strange in me, as I always try to control things - stop me and unable me to write, and as my blogger's skills are not particularly brilliant, I am not capable to feed my blog.
It is not that I don't have things to say, as a matter of fact I do have lots of stuff to express.
I am a mess: my mind is in a terrible mess. My feelings, my ideas, and my inner me are as damaged as a city can be after a twister or a tsunami ... This is the closest image I can offer you of my state of mind.
What can I say, how can I put words together to express my despair, my sadness, my feeling-blue ...
I have to process loads of information, my hard-disk is overloaded and needs to classify tons of memories and of rememberances...
A wise man told me a few days ago that my self-esteem is at its lowest level ... and he is right, he is the one who turned me upside-down, he is not the cause of my state, though he is the mean.
I should not complain because I am a privileged one: I have my family, I have my friends, I have a roof over my head, I have outfits and shoes in my clossets, my fridge is full ... I have no right to complain as you see, and despite all that I am emotionaly broken...
To put it all in a nut-shell, I am feeling like real shit and what makes me feel terribly ashamed is that I am a privileged one on the bright side of the road.
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